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What is Domestic Violence?

Domestic violence is a system of power and control over an intimate partner. It includes any and all forms of abuse.

Physical Abuse

Physical abuse refers to the intentional use of physical force against another person that results in bodily injury, pain, or impairment. It includes a wide range of behaviors, such as hitting, slapping, punching, kicking, strangling, pushing, shoving, and using weapons. The abuse can cause visible injuries like bruises, cuts, and fractures, as well as internal injuries and long-term physical and psychological effects. Physical abuse can occur in various settings, including homes, schools, workplaces, and public spaces, and can be perpetrated by anyone, including intimate partners, family members, caregivers, or strangers. The impacts of physical abuse are severe and can lead to both immediate and long-term health and well-being issues for the victim.

Pushing or shoving

This involves applying force to someone, causing them to move involuntarily. It is typically done with the hands and can range from a light push to a more forceful shove, potentially causing the person to fall or stumble.

Hitting or slapping

This involves striking someone with an open hand or closed fist. Hitting generally implies a more forceful blow, while slapping is typically done with an open hand, often to the face.

Strangling or restraining by force

Strangling refers to compressing someone's neck, restricting airflow and blood flow, which can lead to unconsciousness or death. Restraining by force involves physically holding someone to prevent their movement, often using hands, arms, or body weight.

Pulling hair

This involves grabbing and pulling someone's hair, which can cause pain, discomfort, and potential injury to the scalp and neck.

Punching, kicking

This involves grabbing and pulling someone's hair, which can cause pain, discomfort, and potential injury to the scalp and neck.

Twisting arms, tripping

Twisting arms involves forcibly rotating someone's arm in a way that causes pain and potential joint damage. Tripping involves causing someone to lose their balance and fall, often by obstructing their foot or leg movement.

Using a weapon, i.e., gun, knife, blunt object, lighted cigarette

This involves employing an object designed or used to cause harm. Guns can inflict lethal injuries through gunshots, knives can cause cutting or stabbing wounds, blunt objects can cause bruising or fractures, and lighted cigarettes can inflict burns.

Forcing or coercing a sexual activity that is not wanted or consented to (rape, oral sex, anal sex).  Forced prostitution.  Repeated accusations of sexual activity with others, i.e., calling partner whore or slut.

Statistics

According to estimates from the National Crime Victimization Survey, there were nearly 700,000 nonfatal violence victimizations committed by current or former spouses, boyfriends or girlfriends of the victims during 2001. Out of this number, 85% were crimes against women. (U.S. Department of Justice, Violence by Intimates: Analysis of Data on Crimes by Current or Former Spouses, Boyfriends, and Girlfriends, March 1998).

Sexual Abuse

Forcing or coercing a sexual activity that is not wanted or consented to (rape, oral sex, anal sex).  Forced prostitution.  Repeated accusations of sexual activity with others, i.e., calling partner whore or slut.

Emotional Abuse

 Intimidation – putting the victim in fear by using looks, actions, gestures, loud voice, destroying property.  Isolation – controlling what the victim does, who the victim sees and talks to and where the victim goes.  Name-calling, mind games.

Verbal Abuse

Name calling (stupid, dumb, fat, etc.)

Financial Abuse

Controlling all money does not allow victim to work, does not give victim money

Cycle of Violence Phases

 

Phase I - Tension Building

Phase II - Incident

Phase III - Reconciliation

Phase IV - Calmness, Honeymoon Stage

During the Cycle of Violence, duration of each phase may vary depending on the individual perpetrator and his or her history with being violent.

Tension Building - This step includes the gradual increase in tension through arguments, isolation, blaming and manipulation. The abuser will use events during this period to blame the partner for "causing" the abuse and ends with tension. Often victims say it is like "walking on eggshells."

Incident - This could be a verbal, physical, etc.

Reconciliation - The abuser begins to feel sorry for what he/she did and starts to show remorse and promises to change. The abuser goes out and gets gifts or flowers and brings them back to give to his/her partner.

Calmness - Honeymoon, forgot about the abuse 

Other Signs; He or she is extremely jealous, was or is abused by a parent, blames others for one’s misbehavior or failures & has hit a boyfriend or girlfriend in the past.

Shepherd's Door

Shepherd's Door is a 501(c) 3 non profit organization serving victims and survivors of domestic violence for 23 years. Shepherd's Door pride ourselves on education and support to victims fleeing domestic violence violence and feel trapped.

P.O. Box 40441
Pasadena, CA 91104
Email: sd@shepherddoor.org
Phone: 626-765-9967 – 833-646-1527

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